Friday, February 4, 2011


I recently received an e-mail with examples of paraprosdokians that I found interesting and wanted to share. It said,...
"A  paraprosdokian (from Greek  meaning "beyond" and , meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part."
-I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
-Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 
-I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
-Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
-The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
-If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
-War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
-The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
-Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
-To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
-A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
-A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
-Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
-Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
-Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
-Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
-Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
-Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
-I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 

1 comment:

  1. My favorite is the "In case of an emergency" and the work station. Haha!